Vilification

I don't understand or have the ability to comprehend ever being in another romantic relationship again. Having not been in anything lasting more than a few months in the last 5 years, I don't think it's even possible for me to one day wake up and look at my partner and say, "Wow..we've been together a year now...5 years....10 years". It really seems impossible. I feel like I have a better chance of curing cancer than finding another relationship that isn't anything except a short-term negative experience.

I can change how I pick women. I can change how I think about relationships and dating. I can choose how I want to react and what paths I will walk down. But even with a positive outlook and an optimistic view, I can't make a positive experience happen. How will I actually know if I'm having a positive experience now when all I expect are bad things to happen with every new person I go out with? I feel lost.